The Dark Side of England
by switmikan74
Summary: There were times when the Englishman is just too childish for his own good. Let's all see those moment when he annoys them all. Chapter 1: The Picky Eater " Roses are red Violets are blue I won't eat your bloody mustards You perverted fucking bastard"


Sooooooooooooooooo… ahem….. I have the infamous disease of writer's block! So I'm writing this to inform all of you I am not dead but simply having the Infamous Disease. Anyway, let's bring forth England's childishness and make America suffer while we laughed at him. Come on, point towards him and laugh! XD. Oh, you, you are so funny! Or let's watched England problems with big smiles on our faces!

It's all different drabbles and I would update it if I am having The Disease. :D

**TITLE: The Dark Side of England**

**CHAPTER 1: Picky Eater**

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France pushes the Mustard Salmon towards the glaring England who huffed and stuck his nose in the air. America and Canada sighed at the childishness of the _mature and logical_ Englishman.

"Now, now, cher, this is a délicieux food and I would not let you just keep you glaring at it like it was the most disgusting food on Earth like your own bouffe…" France reprimanded the sandy blond who, again, stuck his tongue out at the French like he was a froggy dolt who is ugly and stupid.

"Get that thing away from my bloody face!"

"But, Iggy! For the last time no one has a bloody face!" And Canada wonders why everyone called his brother an idiot? Really, Canada? Really?

"Shut it you git! And you stupid pervert, for the last fucking time I would not eat that stupid mustard! Never ever you sodding bastard!" The Canadian wonders what is wrong with his family and if disowning oneself is against the law even if they rarely see him. Is it so wrong to search for a non-dysfunctional family?

"You ugly rosbif! I prepared all of my food with so much l'amour! It is not stupide or disgusting, you foutu Anglais!" Who even decided that having a weekly get together to eat is wonderful?

"Just eat your fucking meal Iggy so we can go home and fuck." Oh, yeah, it's his brother's _wonderful_ idea. He wonders if he shouldn't have come.

"Bugger off! I am not eating that bloody thing!" Well, the door is quite open and tempting him to go out, maybe they won't notice at all…

"Iggy! That thing is not bloody, it's Mustard Salmon!" Just one more step…

"Shut it, you two. Canada, aren't I right that my food is magnifique?" Oh. Well, fuckity fuck fuck. He smiled innocently.

"Oui, papa, oui." Damn, eh.

"Why, Canada, I raised you better than that! I had not raised a liar, must be the vile French in you!" God, his whole family is dramatic! He's not a liar!

"Oh, shush, Iggy, I never thought that you think of me as honest!" Is that crickets I hear? Nuh, just America's ego popping from the sheer force of England's punch. France sighed exasperatedly and holds England down in the chair.

"Quick, Amerique! Feed him the mustard! Canada, help me open his mouth!" And so the struggle begins which also mean Fuck it, Let's force England something that he don't want and laughed at him when we're done.

"No! Noooooooooooo! Get away from me! Get away from me! GET. AWAY. FROM. ME!"

"Eat it! Just eat already!" Ow, England bites hard. Just ouch.

"Ow, you savage beast! My fingers are not a food!" Oh, so that was France he had bitten. EW.

"HELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Screaming won't do, Angleterre! Eat it already."

"Yeah, Iggy, eat it."

Silence. Then..

"RAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEE !" Everybody stops and stares at the blushing man.

"What? I don't know what to shout…" And resumes again.

An hour past and the group emerges as victors while leaving England weeping and sobbing.

"Oh… my virginity! My dignity! Gone… gone with the wind! I was molests by my own fellowmen. Oh, the humiliation! The embarrassment!" Yeah, he was that traumatized and dramatic. Did I mention that his family is stupid? No? Well, they are.

"Oh, shut it, Iggy, you had lost that a long time ago anyway." Another popping sound and his ego deflated slowly… Not.

"Well, I hope you had learnt your lesson, Angleterre. Eat your mustards or you'll suffer again and again…"

England nodded weakly while he trembles in fear. America hugged his dear Iggy close and wave goodbye to the rest of the family.

"See you next week, you two! Adieu!" Finally, Canada can rest without a worry, well, until next week really.

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And then…. Next week has come.

"So where is Angleterre?" America looked away.

"Well, he wants you to read this…" Canada prayed to God.

"Okay…." France prepared for the worst.

" _Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_I won't eat your bloody mustards_

_You perverted fucking bastard"_

They all face palmed.

"Well… if you want to know… I told him the mustard was not bloody… It was green…"

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There you go! Please review! :D


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